Our Process

Overview

There are three paths for arriving at divorce terms: a lawyer-led negotiation, usually occurring before filing suit, a litigated divorce, or a mediated separation agreement. Both litigation and a lawyer-led negotiation require that you grant the authority to negotiate on your behalf to a lawyer who will then engage with your spouse’s lawyer in hopes of negotiating a settlement. If these avenues are unsuccessful, the case then becomes a litigated divorce that will be handled in court with a judge making decisions regarding your agreement. Both processes are extremely costly and time consuming with the average litigated divorce taking 18 months or more to be finalized and costing anywhere from $15,000-$30,000/party.

Pursuing a mediated separation agreement cuts way down on cost and time. With mediation you pay as you go. Your cost is dictated by how many sessions you require to reach an agreement, and we encourage our clients to resolve as many issues outside of mediation as they are comfortable. For example, if you and your spouse have already agreed on how you wish to divide property, but you need help figuring out a parenting schedule then that is what we would focus on in the mediation. You set the agenda for what we discuss, and sessions are scheduled on your own timeline so we can move as fast or as slow as you are comfortable with.

As professional mediators, we act as facilitators to encourage productive conversation and resolve conflict, but you, as the parties, remain in control of the overall process. We recognize that not every situation is the same and clients may need advice and information that falls outside our scope of expertise. We welcome clients to seek counsel from outside professionals who may be able to provide information that is needed to build an agreement in the best interest of your family. Professionals are included at the discretion of the parties and can include therapists, financial advisors, lawyers, guardian’s ad litem, etc.

Our Process

Going through a divorce is an overwhelming and stressful time. As mediators, our goal is to create a supportive environment that provides you with the tools necessary to craft the best possible agreement for your family and navigate this difficult season of life. To best understand our mediation process, it may be helpful to think of it as if you were preparing for an upcoming football season.

Orientation

Mediation starts with an orientation where we walk people through the details of the mediation process. Think of this as your football interest meeting; you’ve never played before, but you’re interested and you have some questions. We take this time to discuss any questions/concerns that you may have about the mediation process. We go through the steps of the mediation process and provide you with any necessary information you may need so you can decide if mediation is right for you.

Pre-mediation counseling

We ask that each party separately attend at least one session of individual premeditation counseling with the mediators prior to the start of the joint sessions. Think of this as pre-season conditioning. These sessions are designed to give us the opportunity to get to know you and prepare you for mediation. There is no limit to what we can discuss during these sessions. As mediators, we are trained in specific techniques for communication and negotiation. During the individual sessions we will share some of these techniques that we think will help you communicate/negotiate a settlement that is practical and fair for both of you. During this time, we also encourage you to discuss anything that you may not have felt comfortable sharing/asking during the orientation.

Financial Planning (optional)

This would fall in the “pre-season conditioning” phase. This step is optional but, we encourage parties to work with our recommended financial planner (a “CFP”) to help prepare your finances for the negotiation. The CFP’s efficiency and very reasonable hourly cost saves you time and money. Using state of the art divorce financial planning software, the CFP can help put together expense lists and budgets that are necessary for us to effectively divide assets and negotiate things like spousal support and child support.

If you choose to work with the CFP, you will meet prior to the start of the joint sessions and the final budgets and assets lists will need to be sufficiently completed before the mediation begins. Whether the parties choose to work with the financial planner or not, this information will still need to be compiled and provided to the mediators. More information about the needed financial information will be provided during the orientation.

Joint Sessions

It’s game day. The first thing we will do together is set the agenda for the session and then we will begin working through that list. Joint sessions typically last about two hours but can be scheduled as frequently as the parties would like. We encourage couples to take breaks between sessions to give them time to process and think about what has been discussed and get some legal advice if they feel it is necessary.

In between each session we will take the time to speak with each of you and reflect on the session: what went well and what didn’t. Between session, we encourage parties to give us feedback and let us know if there is anything we can do differently or if there’s anything we can do to support you during our next session.

Sessions can talk place online or in person depending on the needs of the parties. Once we have come to an agreement, the parties can work with us or a lawyer to have the formal agreement drafted. We do not allow agreements to be signed in the office and we encourage both parties to have the agreement reviewed by a lawyer prior to signing.

Using a Lawyer in Mediation

A lawyer can be contacted at any point during this process. We encourage parties to seek legal advice whenever they feel it is necessary to ensure that they are comfortable with the negotiation and the course mediation is taking. If parties would prefer, we are also able to have lawyers present during the actual negotiation.

Our priority is to make sure that both parties feel comfortable conducting themselves during the mediation and we are willing to work with the parties to ensure that happens. No settlement agreements are signed off on at any of our mediation sessions, so that you will always have time to think about it and speak to your lawyer about it.